12 Sep 2015, 4:31pm
housing personal finance
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  • Financial advisers and the triumph of hope over experience

    I thought I had done the whole UK property tragedy in this snarl, but Monevator pointed me to an absolute corker.

    ‘I’ve inherited £15,000 aged 20. When can I buy a £350,000 house?’ [he earns £17k p.a.]

    Let’s imagine our 20-year old hadn’t written to the retired colonels of the Telegraph, but had wandered into the pop-up-shop that is the financial advisers of Ermine, Ermine and Ermine, and asked that of the grizzled mustelid 1 sitting behind a desk with a green banker’s lamp.

    The ermine is child-free, but I don’t totally lack compassion, and a small tear would appear in the ermine’s eye, but he would give it to this young pup straight, unlike the two, count ’em, two, IFAs who appeared in the article. Something like this:

    George, me old fruit, I hate to be the bringer of bad news. You can’t get there from here. You, a twenty-year old young man, have just inherited £15k, which is roughly a year’s salary. You would like to buy a four bedroom detached house. You are on less than the average wage. It ain’t gonna happen. What you need to do is focus on earning more, and also scale back your ambition here. Let me tell you a story. I was earning far more than you in real terms when I stupidly bought a house in the mid-morning of my working life, and while I have had three decades to make stupendous mistakes, no financial error gets anywhere near the magnitude of that cock-up. The UK housing market is a heartless mistress – funded by an army of BTL sugar daddies I regret to say are my age fleecing the young, themselves in servitude to Britain’s rapacious financial industry it will eat you up and spit you out in little pieces.

    Your lucky stroke is that your ambition so outweighs your means that lenders will probably save you from yourself. Invest wisely, though do have a little bit of fun to celebrate the old girl’s passing. First see to your emergency fund of six month’s wages, held in cash probably with Santander to get some interest. Then invest the rest in a S&S ISA index fund and forget about it for five years.

    Your position is not hopeless. Inform yourself about the credit cycle, and the things that drive house prices. Do scale back that housing ambition – you may well want a four-bed house to raise a family, but hopefully there will be a lady of the house who can help with the finance.

     

    Notes:

    1. one of the advantages of being an ermine is is doesn’t matters if your fur turns white, because that’s what it’s meant to be
     
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